Fifty seven. I believe I will be 57 in exactly one hour. As numbers go 57 is not a favorite. But 5 and 7 make 12 and that number has been good to me. Today I'll think of 57 as a number and the number it will be is 12.
There is no desire to be 12, although 12 was a good age. Old enough to roam the city and country on my bike and young enough to mostly fly below my parent's radar. Oh at 12 there was definitely an expectation of me from my dad to "Think Ahead". Interesting that mindfulness emphasizes being in the present and at 12 that was easy, and not thinking ahead is what got me into tight spots.
I do not want to be 12; in fact each year as my birthday approaches I don't want to be that number either. By the end of each year of life I'm perfectly fine with the age I am. Fifty six ended with a much wanted and seemingly unlikely experience happening. For a few years I've been thinking ahead to what or who should be in my life. Each of those years ended with me still looking ahead.
This last year something changed. Not by chance but by choice. I went against my dad's mantra and endeavored to be in the present. The idea of another way has been passed along from wise people for generations. At least as far back as when humans began contemplating the meaning of their existence. Being in the present, I came to understand allows me to be available for what will come.
Staying in the present prevented me from chasing what I could not catch and falling back to what wasn't there. Being present, I was told in meditations, permitted me to be available for what will be. Not on my time, but in time.
Two employees of the restaurant Bonfyre Grill let the moment last for 40 minutes longer than than they were to be open last night. During the three hours of the end of the day, it was becoming clear to me that my future was changed.
I fell asleep last night thinking ahead. My dad would be pleased.
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