The Good Heart

Cathy and I participated in a family conference on teen-recovery a few Saturdays ago. The event was held at the Madison Public Library. Used books are sold on the second floor. Books, with all of their pages don't lose value. I bought a bag-full of books for a couple of bucks. They will go into the library of Aaron's House this summer, and first I will read them. Used again.

The first book I read is a hard cover, turned soft from use, The Good Heart, A Budhist Perspective on the Teachings of Jesus. 1996. The Budhist who gives the perspective is The Dalai Lama. This book is barely held together at the binding. I wonder how many lives have been influenced from the words?

Aaron was interested in exploring the Budhist religion according to his counselor. He had become interested in the Native American traditions while out west. The exploration of culture helped Aaron grow in humilty and enhanced his respect for the environment. Why Budhism was appealing to Aaron, I can't say; we didn't have the opportunity to discuss this topic before he died. Hearing that Aaron had an interest was good news to me. Exploring spirituality is important to recovery and the fact that Aaron was looking into other beliefs tells me he was doing right things with respect to his recovery from addiction. When a person is growing in spirituality it's not what they say that tells the most about the depth of their growth. What they do or don't do might speak the clearest.

The Dalai Lama, in commenting on the Resurection of Jesus, said "As his or her spiritual progress advances, even that person's physical embodiment becomes subtler and subtler." On Faith, he commented "...a beginning spriritual aspirant should be open-minded. ...we can call it a state of healthy skepticism. When you are in the state of opennes, you are able to reason, and throught reasoining you can develop a certain understanding... (the Buddha) suggests that his followers put all of his words to the test."

I understand that putting the teachings of Jesus or Buddha, or Muhammad to the test, we as humans reason and understand the truths. The experiences which test the teachings strengthen our convictions. For example, I now understand the Beatitude, "How blest are the sorrowful, they shall find consolation."

I saw Aaron skeptical and I saw Aaron becoming subtler in his life. While I don't accept that God took my son to heaven because he had reached a certain level of contemplation, I do accept that Aaron was growing through a healthy skepticism. It is probably not unusual for 17-18 year olds to be skeptical. When I see skepticism in young persons I will say, "good for them".

This used book, The Good Heart, is stamped on its ends with two words JAIL COLLECTION.

Whether our prisons have walls of concrete or sorrow, what we do while doing our time makes all the difference.

Tom

A Resume -- Aaron in His Own Words

May 10, 2005, Aaron's last completed school assingment was to bring in his resume. A copy was on the printer when we arrived home. I've seen alot of resumes over the years and few say much about the person. Resumes tend to make much to do about very little. One resume could be used for dozens of people "The facts are the same, only the names have been changed"

Aaron had shown me his resume a week or so earlier. I remember vividly telling him with satisfaction that his resume was "all Aaron". No fluff. We had talked about how to address the questions that his attendance at Mount Bachelor Academy would surely raise. He was content with something along the lines of: I made some bad choices at 16. My parents intervened and sent me to a boarding school in Oregon. I never complained. I did my work. Got my life in order. Graduated and here I am. You will never have the opportunity to hire an 18 year old as experienced in emotional growth as me. I can start tomorrow. Will that be good?

Aaron didn't get the job that would have opened a different door to the future. But he tried.

Here's Aaron in his own words--

Tom

Aaron Meyer
---- .* * (608)--- ---- * ameyer2@hotmail.com


PART TIME, FULL TIME WEEKENDS

SUMMARY

· I believe that the company would really benefit by hiring a hard and dedicated worker. I would be the one that your company wants.
· I have great work ethic. I have also developed social skills that allow me to work with a variety of people.
· I’m looking for a job where I can give back to others. I need to give something to a business and provide it with several new opportunities.

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE

Windsor Lawns LLC, Deforest, WI, 2000 -2003 Matt Feldman

Job Title

· Worked hard labor (landscaping) all summer from 7am – 5 pm sometimes later. 6 days a week. Used a shovel and at times worked on a skid loader.
· I learned how to have a steady job, finance money, communication with others and most of all a good work ethic. Hard work pays off.
· Just showing up wasn’t enough for a labor job. Sweat and hard work was included. You were expected to keep up with others.


EDUCATION

Deforest Area High School, Deforest, WI
Mount Bachelor Academy, Prineville, OR
Horizon High School, Madison, WI

Hippie Kid

A counselor who worked with Aaron in Madison two years ago shared some memories of Aaron with me. I liked hearing that Aaron didn't care to project a "tough guy" image. He was fine being himself in groups of peers. The counselor considered Aaron one of the "Hippie kids". I think Aaron would like the label...Hippie kid.

Tom

The World

The Merton Reflection--
If I had no choice about the age in which I was to live, I nevertheless have a choice about the attitude I take and about hte way and the extent of my participation in its living ongoing events. To choose the world is not then merely a pious admission that the world is acceptable because it comes from the hand of God. It is first of all an acceptance of a task and a vocation in the world, in history and in time. In my time which is the present. To choose the world is to choose to do the work I am capable of doing, in collaboration with my brother and sister, to make the world better, more free, more just, more livable, more human. And it has now become trnasparently obvious that mere automatic "rejection of the world" and "contempt for the world" is in fact not a choice but the evasion of choice.
Thomas Merton, Contemplation in a World of Action

In 1969 my next door neighbor was killed in Viet Nam. He was a 19 year old Marine. When the war came home we stopped playing army, and GI Joes. I was tried to relate the war death of my friends big brother to the political deaths of Kennedys and Kings; all were violent. All were connected. At ten, I saw the world as violent and small.

At 47 I see the world from the perspective of a person older than my years. To lose a son of 18 years loosens ones grasp on the world. It's OK to let go. Like a long ride in an uncomfortable vehicle, I am willing to one day give up my seat to someone with more exhuberance.

I choose to do the work I am capable of and I choose to do what I think is God's will. I hope doing what I think is God's will, even if it is not, is acceptable.

Yesterday I met an 18 year old son of caring parents. He has a life of promise ahead. My son is 16. He too has a promising life. I see people like these young men everyday. The world they inhabit is complex and complete with love, hate, fear, joy, hope, greed, cruelty and kindness. I will do my part to make the world more human. My son Aaron was 18 for four days, and I miss him.

In contemplation,
Tom

Relaxation Music, Chicago Style

There are a few CD's I keep close by. Soothing sounds put me to sleep. Norah Jones, Eddy Arnold, Jackie Green, and now the Chicago Bears talk radio stations.

Last night, Super Bowl Sunday, I dozed off into a great night of sleep listening to the sweet sounds of Doug Buffone and Ed Obradavich, old Bears growling about the events of the evening in Miami. Moaning and nashing of Bear fan teeth has a pleasant melody.

I woke at 3:00 AM with my radio still on. Late, late, late night insomniac Chicagoland talk show hosts were doing more of the same. The Monsters of the Midway are as real as the monsters in a little kid's closet--they don't exist after all. I turned off the radio and with a contented mind, I drifted off to sleep again.

It's not right to revel in the misery of others... but it is a right of a Packer fan.

Almost as good as a Packer Super Bowl win,
Tom