A Child's Psychology

A good friend of mine shared a wonderful story and I'm going to pass it on. The story is true but the names might be changed, but... maybe not.

Here's my version or what I heard.

Steve, the Dad, is out of town on an overnight trip. Back home, his wife Julie is contending with the four young children on her own. The youngest, Nolan, is pushing Julie's buttons the way a four year old boy can. Steve, in the comfort of a five star hotel calls home to check in on his loving wife.

Julie tells Steve of Nolan's uncooperative, disruptive, misbehaving ways of the day. Julie laments that she has had all she can take of little Nolan. She needs a break. "You talk to him, I'm done" Julie tells Steve and she hands the phone to Nolan. "Your Dad wants to talk to you, Nolan."

Picture a four year old, blonde haired little boy sitting the toddler rule of thumb, one foot per year of age away from the TV watching Barney, or Sponge Bob Square Pants, or whatever show those tiny people watch. Knowing Nolan, he's probably fighting off the body's urge to sleep, and has the best part of his lunch on his sleeve and cheeks. He's done his best to keep up with his older siblings or ruin their activities the best he can, non-stop all day.

Steve, having the opportunity to be the good cop, (safe and sound in another zip code) and suspecting maternal rants and threats have had no affect, uses his best psychology (which he definitely could not have learned from his father). "Nolan, Mom told me about your day." The ground work's been layed. Steve's ready to mix some well intentioned guilt with a fair measure of reasoning. "I feel really bad that you were misbehaving today. Mom feels bad that you would act up when I'm away from home. I'm going to be gone until tomorrow night. It would be nice if you could be good. Nolan, it hurts me to be so far away from you and hear that you're not being a good boy." For good measure Steve tells Nolan once more, "I feel bad and sad about the way you behaved today."

Nolan, having taken in all of what Dad said about feeling bad and sad has the perfect reply to Steve. Holding the big phone in his sticky little hand, Nolan asks, "What's that got to do about me?"

Ahhh, the brilliance of a child. I will be sure to use Nolan's escape the next time I'm too close to life's drama; "What's that got to do about me?"


Thanks Nolan. I'll get lots of use out of your beautiful question.

Tom