Impermanence. Evanescent.

Ev-an-ESC-ent. I like this word for how it looks, how its enunciation feels.  Evanescent looks, feels, sounds like what it is in the same way orange looks and feels juicy.  The beginning is soft, then moves  sharp to my lip, and vanishes off of the tip of my tongue. Like a scent of perfume, a whisp of smoke from a spark, evanescence is completely present and gone. In the impermanence of life all that vanishes remains once was.

Invisible Evidence of Wishful Thought

"Had we made the first down I really believe we would have won. We had the momentum. The better team did not win that night." ...Head coach of losing team in a high school state championship game.

After defeat-grief there comes a springtime; a season when improbable outcomes based on the invisible evidence of wishful thought bloom into real fantasy. Only on the low rung of second place is the view so fantastic that we can see reality pretty well and still blur it into if-only dreams.

It's probably theraputic to imagine outcomes would be different if the if-only was replaced with  "but-for". The problem with really believing the better team did not win is you avoid accepting your inferior team lost. Until acceptance is achieved the truth will gnaw at your soul and "leave you with nothin mister", not the first place of the victor or the second place you earned.