Insight Into Attitude. My Circle of Friends

Viktor Frankel, Thomas Merton, C.S. Lewis, Saint Paul, Dali Lama, Eckart Tolle, Bill W. and Doctor Bob. For over three years these people have been my circle of friends. I've never been alone. In solitude, yes. But never alone. They've sat with me. Walked with me. Hunted and fished with me in fact, but never bagged anything we could eat. Of course, man can not live on fish and fowl alone and these people, these friends, provided what I needed to survive: Insight into attitude and what attitude means to life.

Now that this has happened, what am I going to do about me? That's the question I ask myself repeatedly through each day. What do I mean to life? What do I mean to this life situation? Frankel and Tolle gave me those nuggets. They changed my habit of reacting in ways that add chaos to carnage. Where I thought life owed me dividends, I discovered I had gold to give. My dark past is my greatest possession. In God's hands, it can be the key to avoiding misery and even death for others. Interesting that there is no self promise in that knowledge. The teachings of all people with awareness included the insight that our life is not for ourselves to take all that we can get, but to give all that we have so that others may live. Where have I seen that lesson in the New Testament?

Native American way of life was almost wiped out. By the survivor's decision to "Be" in an environment hostile to their mind, body, and spirit, today we their key to avoiding misery and death. These people lived their way of life accepting and flowing with life situations the way a river flows with ease from its source to the ocean...always with nature.

Better to remain humble like the Valley, than arrogant like the Mountain. All life moves easily through the Valley avoiding the Mountain. The ego wants the mountain. It's there waiting to be challenged, but I don't have to accept. The reward of moving the mountain is compensation to ego. The return of the Valley is the treasure we give to others. I can't take my ego with me, and I will leave everything that matters for life.

A Story in the Trunk

Open the trunk of your car and you'll see a story. The one in Cathy's car stopped me cold yesterday. Curious how the words arranged themselves without an author. A short story of tragedy, hope, and sadness. I took a picture to keep the memory.

Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. April 26. Cathy and I received the passes to join Brad Bella and his family in his daughter Courtney's hospital room. Courtney, was on life support. Her Mother, Jen died at the scene. Her unborn sister died with Jen. Courtney was kept alive by technology. Jen is our friend. Brad is our friend. Courtney is a Godchild. Her big brother Zach survived the crash and he receives our daily prayers.

The passes were to be returned at the time we left the hospital, but Courtney died that afternoon and we walke out without thinking about the final procedure. Eventually the passes ended up in the trunk. Somehow they edited their way next to a bumper sticker for K-E-Y-E-S. Keep Everyone You know Safe, a charity started by Bonnie Stamm and friends to help people think about driving unimpaired. A simple key with a flourescent green cap designed to be one last thought provoking symbol. Stop. Don't insert your key into the ignition if you are impaired. Bonnie's daughter was killed by an impaired driver. Bonnie gave me the sticker. I'll give it Brad and Zach one day. I wonder if the time is right today.

I remember Courtney laughing and talking. Walking with me. Accepting a present from Cathy. Smiling. The images of Courtney in the hospital are final. They should never exist. Courtney was going home. She was with her Mom, her brother, and a friend. It was a Friday. A sleepover was underway. A cake for her Mom's birthday was to be baked. And then the impaired driver roared down on them.

The PICU passes worked their way through the trunk and found their place on the page next to the KEYS sticker.

Cathy's Gardens..an artist with a spade

Scrape the paint off of a the works of Michaelangelo, erase the ink and lead from the pages of Shakespeare and Mozart, you'll have canvass and paper. Clean and clear, it is the artist who makes the slate say art. Art will inspire emotions for as long as we can hold the image or idea in our brain. Cathy writes and paints with a spade, Wolf tools, and her hands. She makes the hard, dry, almost sunless yard say, Peace and tranquility.

There is no house, building, or bridge designed and constructed by man which ads one bit of perfection to earth. Every man made object seperates man from man and God. Every garden uses God's grace to invite man closer to God and others. Cathy does God's work by mixing his colors and life into pictures, stories, and songs. The stories Cathy tells about where the plants came from, who's life they touched and who touched them, where they came from, how she got there, how the plants came to be here, and what the plants need to surivive, are mysteries, novels, romance, and tragedy. The music is from the birds who live in the paintings and stories. Cathy knows their names, their habits, their voices.

Through the summer of 2005 Cathy watched her gardens suffer with her. The pain of her broken heart was felt by her friends in the gardens. They cried with her. They cried for her. The gardens cared for themselves and waited. Cathy watered her gardens with tears that summer. Maybe 2006 was worse. The shock had worn off, and the reality cut deep. Painting a garden takes strength. The garden gives back in energy but the first action is picking up the tool. When the work appeared to great, Cathy collected herself and started over by lending a hand to Patrick as he took over for me on the pond garden I started in '05. I'm an earth mover, Patrick is a fine tuner, Cathy is the artist. She has the heart and compassion to give life and encourage mercy.

Spring of '07 brought Cathy back to her art. She started over by cleaning the weeds and debris. On her knees, by hand, in the dirt, she sorted through the good and evil. Devil mosquitoes where waiting for her. Tiny swords and knives, summer heat, humidity drained her. But, Cathy did not quit. Little by little she did what she could. The gardens responded with gratitude. They gave energy to Cathy. Vibrant lives of God's creation have power. Plants listen. They never give advice or condemnation. Flowers only smile and give hugs.

What once was dull,broken, sad and gray is now bright red, yellow, deep purple, brilliant green, sun burnt orange, perfectly formed by God. All in the image of God...The art and the artist.