2191 Days. 52,582 Hours.

Six years ago, or 52,582 hours ago, I sat down to write a post titled A Son Turns 18. I remember thinking as I wrote. I can recall how pleasant it was to hear the banter in the next room, the family room, as Cathy, Patrick, and Aaron watched the second to last episode of the season for Gray's (or Grey's)  Anatomy. Aaron didn't want the season to end, "We just started watching this! What do they mean 'season finale'????" Looking back at the post from May 8, 2005 might cause me to crack tonight and I'm just not up for more of that emotion tonight.

Apparently every six years the days of the week coincide exactly with the days and dates. May 8 was a Sunday in 2005---and it was Mother's Day. I remember much of that day. Time was slipping into the future and I didn't know. Tick, tick, tick....I remember Patrick making a slushy with his slushy maker and Aaron being intrigued. Patrick made a slushy for Aaron and Aaron dropped a glob of the icey stuff on his bare foot and on the floor. I wiped up the floor and Aaron offered his foot to me to clean up while I was "already down there".

We had an eerie conversation early in that day, six years ago, about how Aaron felt he was a far superior driver than me. As evidence he said he had zero speeding tickets in his 1 year (more like 5 months) and I had 1 in 30 years. Further, Aaron suggested that my 3 incidents backing out of the garage and into 2 other cars and the side of garage showed that I was an inattentive driver where he was the model of prudence behind the wheel. Oh my, that still haunts me.

Two thousand one hundred ninety six days have passed since I saw my son. We shot hoops that day and played some catch with the football. 52,704 hours have passed since I've seen him alive. Time heals no wounds. Much work and much support from skilled people heals wounds. I remember the time when I wanted to turn the clock back and conceding to the impossibility I dreaded time passing moving us further away from the time Aaron was alive.

Yesterday and today were spent sharing Aaron's story at Wisconsin Challenge Academy with a couple hundred Moms and Dads. The story inspires parents to answer for themselves the question, "Now that this has happened what are you going to do about you?" Their answers will include some aspect of forgiveness. The promise  of forgiveness is Peace, Hope, Gratitude, and Joy. The dark days are my greatest possession in God's hands.

Wrapping up the weekend a Bob Marley song came on the radio-- Every little thing is going to be all right. Even that takes me back.