Saint Mary's Hospital May 6, 1987. A healthy son was born to Cathy and Tom Meyer of Madison. Long fingers and a deep, strong cry. Doctors, nurses, Mom and Dad discussing fantasy of what he will become. I remember clearly. A son; what a gift. Eighteen years; what a ride. Eighteen years in a flash.
From Paul Bowles, The Shining Sky, I kept these "Words I Wish I Wrote" (A book by an author who's name escapes me this moment) ...because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four of five times more. Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless."
Should I have done some things differently? Sure, who could say no? Acceptance of reality and
an attitude of abundance enables a person to look back on a son or daughter's childhood gone by and smile. No sadness. No second guessing. No resentment or self-pity. For me, I am grateful to be able to be a father for my son when he needs me most. My son does not need me to be a father yesterday, last year, or last decade. He needs me most today.
At sixteen he dreamed of being 18. Now his dream is reality. After two days of being 18, my son explained his feeling about this new age with one word, "Responsibility". He didn't say FREEDOM!! He'll do well. His assessment of his feeling indicates he knows living in our basement requires responsibility over freedom. I love that guy.
Reality is good, and better than fantasy.
Peace
Tom
Sunday, May 08, 2005
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