God's Will and The Power to Carry It Out

Tonight begins a stretch of days of solitude which will end the day after my 50th birthday next week. If disaster should strike before I see everyone again, it will happen with all of my relationships in the right place. That's the beautiful outcome of help from others who do God's work in my life. I'm far from perfect, but with the help of other people life is a blessing.

For a day and a half my mind has been filled with an awareness of understanding of God's will. Abundant clarity struck me and I know this too shall pass, but until it does--I gotta write. If I ramble you may have to sort through the mess, but there is a nugget in here. This is it:

God's will, as I understand the opinions of thinkers who I read--Dali Lama, Merton, Lewis, is that we live with compassion, mercy, and forgiveness to others and ourselves. To be able to progress in compassion, mercy, and forgiveness, we develop humility. A humble person sees himself as not more or less than anyone, but one of the whole of all the universe.

Now, here is where my opinion's come into the discussion and where my mind is swirling this week---God does not make horrible things happen in my life to drive me into humility. Maybe he makes it rain on my parade from time to time to slow me down or to keep me from running over someone, but there is no way God took the life of Aaron. No way. God is merciful and would not use murder as a way of leading one human down another pass. God created a world of balance and order. Only many affects the balance and order unfairly. No other species takes more than their share of any natural resource except man. Only man uses nature in a disorderly manner to serve his species. God is order.

So, with the world in balance and the universe in order, and God willing humans to progress in humility to better serve the universe in mercy, compassion, and forgiveness, my shallow thinking might decide I know God's will for me. I decide God wants me to progress in my humility by serving meals to the homeless, once a month. Twelve times a year should do it. I can commit to that. Might not keep all 12 commitments, but God won't care. I can do God's will as long as I can drive to the homeless shelter in my truck. I may make half of the 12 provided nothing comes up. I'm a busy man you know. Here I am cruising through my life of humble pie baking and all of a sudden I get a message delivered by one of God's angels.

"You misunderestimated God's willingness to allow you to visit the fertile fields of humility. God does not want you to serve meals to the homeless."

Good, because that's a sorry place. I'm glad he sees it my way. I'm better used expounding on the virtues of good over evil. Where does he want me to report for duty? On the speaking tour? National TV?

"Right here, Mr. Meyer. You will be homeless, destitute, cold, and hungry in this very city."

Is God going to take my apartment away from me? My job? My car?

"No. God doesn't take anything away from you. You give it away a little at a time by living a life of self will run riot. God will pick you up and deliver you to the streets where you will learn to live without."

Can you imagine this scenario? Serving meals to the homeless would be a teeny-tiny unpleasant. What kind of humility progress can you make in an apron spooning mashed potatoes and gravy? Even the most disgusting life of poverty in the United States is superior to poverty in Somalia I suppose, but it can't be a walk in the park. Humility would flourish if I was open to the lessons. Homeless, hungry, and poor, being fed by people who I probably once thought were beneath me would be a fertile field of fresh manure for my humble crop of compassion, mercy, and forgiveness. But, I'd have to survive to be an example of God's grace.

I'd have to survive and I could, if I am granted the power to carry it out.