Four years ago this month when the bottom was falling out with Aaron I had no clue of what right actions to take. Over the course of the preceding eight weeks I tried many actions and committed to none. The chaos grew and I waged a battle against the invisible evil. Aaron took the brunt of my frustration. He and I were pitted against eachother. Aaron was consumed by the cunning, baffling, and powerful drug and I was consumed with anger. Anger at Aaron, his collection of users and pushers who slinked in and out under the cover of darkness or hidden by two-faced masks. And anger at powerlessness.
Dads fix things. Bikes, balls, toys. Sometimes Dads can fix broken hearts. But Dads can't fix their children. They can fix themselves. That, I found, is enough.
Parents sometimes look to me for advice with their children in trouble with addiction or consumption. My advice is always the same: (1) Call a professional to counsel with you and your child. (2) Get yourself into support counseling such as Al-Anon. (3) Encourage other family members to do the same and the best encouragement is getting yourself there (4) If you use alcohol or other drugs, quit. I self medicated and tried to tell my son he was wrong and my actions were right--wrong!(5) Love your child, hate the desease and never confuse the two.
I asked myself and others "What am I going to do about Aaron?" The question I should have asked is "What can I do about me?" When I finally found my way into answering that question it made all of the difference. I was late but not too late. For that I am grateful.
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