Leaving Aaron

In August 2004, eight months and a few days before we said goodbye forever, we returned Aaron to Mount Bachelor Academy after a fabulous family weekend. Aaron did not like long goodbyes and he was ready to return to campus earlier than expected. With a bag of dirty clothes, a collection of new books, and a few extra clothes for the fall, Aaron said his goodbye and walked back to check-in.

The drive down to Bend from the hills outside of Prineville, OR was quiet. We stopped at a roadside viewing site to look back toward Prineville and the hills where Aaron called home.

Looking at the photos today I see we were reflecting. For years we had Aaron as a complex, funny, serious, creative, carefree, athletic, and playful boy. In less than 9 months in 2003 we lost him. By August 2004 we had Aaron back. From 8/19-23, Patrick experienced a real brother-brother relationship. I think he was somewhat astounded by the experience...he finally had a brother who could be a big brother. Cathy had her son back. They shared laughs, hugs, tears, and honest conversation. She was seeing her boys be friends and brothers.

My son was safe, articulate, and honest about his insecurities. He was full of a wealth of knowledge about behavior and led us to understand some family dynamic changes we could make. We all saw Aaron was showing a confidence in his self that we had not seen for some time. His mentor told us "No young man has walked onto campus with more integrity than Aaron." We all wished he accepted that assessment as much as we all knew it was true.

On the ride home, I was being "The Dad". Confident, stoic, sure of my actions. Looking through the lens of the camera at Cathy and Patrick reflecting on what they were leaving behind in a son and brother, I thought this might be as hard as it gets for them. In May, 2005 I found out I was wrong. Very wrong.

Wishing I could go back to Prineville and bring Aaron home,

Tom

Gratitude for People Who Inspire

The picture to the left is Patrick, Aaron, and Dave Johnson, Aaron's mentor at Mount Bachelor Academy. He's sending Aaron and Patrick out on an overnight hike and camp out. Dave's giving the boys "their work". The result was the beginning of absolute success in building an unbreakable bond of brotherhood.


Cathy and I took a walk today before picking out a Christmas tree this afternoon. The crisp, clear day is refreshing. Twenty four degrees feels comfortable. On the last day of fall, we've adjusted to winter. Its easier to adjust to winter with the right equipment: jacket, hat, boots, and mittens.

Walking in the squeaking snow, Cathy and I talked about our feelings. The same way you can be comfortable in cold weather, our hearts are warm in deep sorrow. We are sincerely grateful for compassion and tenderness; ours, Patricks, and others.

We picked up our tree from Capaul's Tree Farm. Aaron was a student in Mr. Capaul's English class at DeForest High School and did some work on the tree farm a few summers ago. Once Aaron and his friend Erik did a "persuasion speach" presentation for Mr. Capaul's class. I think they created a classic, teenage boys creative approach to a simple assingment. The Persuasive Speaking presentation these guys made was sort of a How-To video on getting phone numbers of girls. I never saw the video, but I recall they went to East Towne Mall and video taped their efforts. Cathy remembers she thought the idea was inapropriate. A note Aaron left, and Cathy cherishes, says the teacher approved. "...P.S. Mr. Capaul LOVED the persuasion speach!!"

Teachers like Mr. Capaul inspired Aaron to write, speak, and use his creativity. I'm grateful for all the people, (and there are many from here to Oregon and Idaho) whom Aaron met and who brought out his best character. Memories of their gifts to our son are so comfortable to our hearts and minds. These kind of memories are the right equipment to wear in the long season of mourning.

Living a Blessed Christmas Season,

Tom