Judgements Are Flying. Judgements Are Flying.

A man rode a bike up to Aaron's House last Saturday and asked to talk to someone in charge. Cathy decided that person would be me. I sat down on the front steps when the fellow asked if he could help us. "I'm a skilled carpenter. Do you have anything I could do for you?"

Aaron did his emotional growing at Mount Bachelor Academy. Woven into the fabric of the work at MBA, the young men and women were exposed to a basic and healthy ism ---non-judgementalism. I didn't teach that theory in our home. Aaron would often tell me as a young teenager "You're too judgemental, Dad." I answered with "You need to be more judgemental. It's OK to not be friends with everyone. Some of these friends of your's are bad news." The conversation would typically end with Aaron pulling his hair and giving his final response, "Ahhhh. I don't want to ever be like you!"

Today Patrick calls me on my judgemental ways. Fortunately the incidents are less common but the character trait is not eliminated. "We have some carpentry work to do but all of the labor is donated. This is a volunteer project." I told the man on the bike. He informed me that he was working with a labor service and his skills were being put to work on some condo projects around Dane County. With more fact than humility in my voice I said,"There are a few things that I could use help on, but again this is a volunteer project. We don't have money to pay anyone." With persaverence and compassion, the man on the bike told me, "I understand the word. If you have some carpentry work. I can help. I'd like to help you. I'm not looking to be paid." I accepted his offer and we agreed to meet at the house at 9AM on Sunday.

Aaron told us how MBA worked acceptance and understanding into the program. Students were challenged to express themselves, and share their emotions. What they stood for mattered, what they believed was their beliefs, and feelings were to be felt, styles not criticized. Peers were not to be judged. All of the students had their humanity in common. They also were all raised in the same world. How do you not judge another human being when it seems to judge is to be human? Aaron told us how the guys at MBA would react when the tension in a room was elevating over an uncomfortable situation. To make light, the kids would say to eachother--"Judgements are flying. Judgements are flying."

No more had the man left on his bike and I judged him undependable based on how he looked and what he was wearing. Within seconds I concluded that was the last I would see of the man , with the torn jeans, dirty shirt, and a bike with a flat tire. Sunday morning came and Cathy told me that I had better get going to meet the man at the house to do the carpentry work. "He's not going to show up. And I'm not running down there for nothing," was my response. Cathy left for church. I made a phone call and plopped on the couch.

It was 9:20 when the phone rang. "This is Randy. I'm at the house. You were going to meet me at 9:00." Me, "OK. I'm running late (lie). I'll be there in 20 minutes." I scrambled off forgetting the tools I promised to bring. Five hours later, the house had a new back porch railing, some rain barrel stands and a a commitment to rebuild the front porch stairs this Saturday. All from the tattered clothes wearing man on the bike. Randy is the man's name. Randy lives in a homeless shelter.

Judgements are flying. I continue to learn what matters and my teachers are everywhere.