Summer

I started writing this on June 9, 2009...finished it today 3/25/10.

Aaron and Patrick were summer boys. Aaron with a sun dried, peeling nose. Patrick with tiny sweat beads on his nose. Swimming, running, biking. Aaron was up, ate, and out the door. Patrick, I believe took a little longer to get going. Well, I don't know for sure. I wasn't home. My memories are illusions.

I talked to Patrick today. He's the same boy he was 10 years ago, just taller and without a baseball glove and bat. A wrench and a car took their place in PT's life. Friendly as ever.

Aaron is  in my dreams most nights. He's just as easy to dazzle with a story and usually off doing something of no significance. Reminds me of the message I sent to him one day--Play the guitar. The world has enough business people.

Patrick is becoming his true self. He's worn the clothes of pride but now dresses in humility. 
"I say, beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes." -- Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Patrick works for US Cellular. His job required a new wearer of clothes. He wears humble clothes still.

All That Matters

I've come a long way as a Dad. How do I know? Patrick told me so. A text message from PT yesterday lifted me to the highest ground. "...Helps me be a better person as well." A compliment, an affirmation that effort is recognized is always comforting. The sharing of the influence the work has on the one who compliments is the greatest gift. It's all that matters.

When I was a young dad all that I wanted to matter was what I produced in terms of money, fun, and objects. What those said about me was good enough, to hell with anything deep and meaningful. Looking out at the countryside as the sun enters the day, I see a landscape waiting patiently to produce whatever man insists. "Do my will," we say to earth and earth obliges. Then when the earth gives abundance we say "Not enough. Give me more." How often did I treat my part of the earth with disrespect and think I was being a man worthy of respect from his sons?

I admire the young father who lives life being grateful, patient, and forgiving. I am content being the older father who is growing to be the father he is able to be when his sons need him most. That's all that matters.