365

There was peace. It was realized in August 2004 when we visited Aaron in Oregon. A year had passed since the chaos had ramped up and here we sat,  looking to the future and working on letting go of the past.

I see the blog count is at 364. This is 365; a blog a day for a year makes a fair sized book. It's been almost six years.  This picture is a favorite of mine. I remember the moment. There should be many more. But no. The shirts were left hanging with no wearer.

The year of blogging is done with this one.

Goodbye Pappa Please Pray For Me

We had joy we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.

Driving to an appointment with enthusiasm, this 1974 song by Terry Jacks played on the radio. I listened d closely and felt the lyrics deeply. "Goodbye Pappa please pray for me...you tried to teach me right from wrong..." My heart ached and my eyes teared; drops trickled from the outside corners. "Spring is in the air, pretty girls are everywhere..." Oh how I want to see my son growing up with his friends. They're getting married, buying homes, having babies, living.

April is approaching fast. The clock runs down to the Ten Days of May. My chest tightens. My teeth clench. All I want for you is to live Aaron. Just live. Goodbye old friend, it's hard to live.

Love Dad. Six years.

Darkest Days Are Still My Greatest Possession

Giving away my greatest possession is relaxing. No tension. No anxiety. As easy as pouring water from a jug.

Today I poured the story to UW Extension Continuing Education students. I no longer cry when their tears start to trickle down. There is much joy in my voice when I talk about the last fun days of May. I still crack over the bit about the phone call from the deputy coronor. I didn't break today, can't promise about the next time.

Glad to have the opportunity to share what I have. Would prefer to be able to exchange it though.