Father's Day

A photograph always captures an instant. Sometimes that picture holds eternity.

I see the smiles, the football Aaron earned from his peers, Patrick's contentment, Aaron's playful confdence, I'm complete. The tree forms a Peace sign. August 2004.

For a guy who always wanted and never got a brother, to have two sons was a blessing I felt was overdue. God owed that to me--at least that was my honest feeling 16 years ago.

When we lost Aaron the first time, I was angry with God. Where was God when drugs entered Aaron's world. He was 16, just a boy and evil consumed our world. A year later, when this picture was taken, I was thanking God for returning my son to my side. I was not grateful for what I had learned, as I had not really paid attention to the gift.

Today I have Patrick and God has Aaron. My one arm is empty without Aaron. I feel it physically and emotionally. But to dwell on that emptiness is to reject God. God's mercy is found in grief. To acknowledge the loss, and wrap the free arm around Patrick is to honor God's mercy.

On Father's Day today, I feel the emtiness and sadness. I can feel the pain and be grateful. My empty arm will hold Patrick close and remember he too misses Aaron today.