Marathon Mom - An Athlete in Action

A few minutes before 3:00 PM on May 10, 2005, Aaron and Patrick's Mom was to hear devastating news about her first born. Cathy was sitting at a computer and I knelt down to tell her that there was an accident and Aaron had died. Just keying this makes my heart race and I feel a reawakening of the evil hurt--my shoulders actually ache remembering that moment.

Cathy was an avid walker and got the most out of our health club membership. Aaron, Patrick, and I, the self proclaimed athletes of the family, did little to justify the monthly fee. Aaron was becoming an ocassional participant in pick-up games of any sport, and Patrick, the boy who was the soccer, baseball, basketball dynamic kid had cut down to basketball only. My days of athletic endeavors ended years ago unless we can count sitting in a duck blind or walking behind a pointing dog in pursuit of pheasants. While "the boys" were persistently becoming ex-jocks, Cathy was diligently becoming the leader in physical fitness. She'd come a long way from the day in 1977 when I made the brilliant statement while trying to teach Cathy to play tennis: "You are not an athlete."

Aaron's death was a bomb exploding in the midst of our family. We all were wounded in the carnage. Physically, mentally, and emotionally, the wounds were critical. Unlike a broken bone or torn flesh, no person other than the victim can heal the injuries. Unlike Doctors who have no choice but to use their ability to heal, the victim can choose to decline to heal.

I don't know what it is to be a Mother and lose a son. But knowing the relationship Cathy has with her boys, my guess is it would be easier for her to get up and walk again had she lost both of her legs instead of one of her sons. The work Cathy has done in 17 months is inspiring. Her strength is in her ability to grieve. Cathy hides her pain from people who can't face it, and shares her sorrow with those who get it. The pain is borne every day, every minute and it overwhelms her at times.

In acknowledging the sorrow, Cathy is able to press on. Not as she did before, but as she can today. Two summers have passed and I don't think her heart is in to the gardening the same as it was. I wonder if some of her nurturing spirit has been zapped? Or maybe having lost one of her creations she isn't as interested in helping God grow his.

In the spring we gave up the health club membership, but the streets of the neighborhood are free and Cathy got back on track. Her walking pace is quick...too quick for us boys who all have legs much longer than Cathy's. Her route was six miles. But not anymore.

This summer Cathy decided to prepare for a 26.2 mile marathon in Appleton. A little by little, Cathy increased her distance to 13 miles. She was usually accompanied by our Chesapeake-- Doc Marley, for 5 or 6 miles and then Cathy was on her own for the rest of the way. Cathy wore out two pair of shoes this year.

On Sunday, Cathy made it the distance--- all 26.2 miles! She covered the Marathon distance in six hours. (I don't think I could lounge on the couch for six hours.) Aaron was surely there to encourage her on. She made it. Cathy pressed on when the pain was greatest and quitting was easiest. She added a giant medal to her collection of distance running and walking medals --- she was also the first in our family to earn a medal at the Kris Greening 5 K run in Ripon. (Aaron and Patrick earned their medals in Rippon too. I never did.)

Life is a marathon we are told. By our actions we show who we are. Cathy is a Marathon Mom and the real athlete in our house.

Impressed and Inspired,

Love
Tom