Patience. Tolerance. Humility.

A coroner could be expected to be callous. In a county the size of Dane the coroner must attest to several hundred deaths each year. The grace of God is not that the person is able to do the job at all, but that he or she is able bring compassion to the duty day in and day out. John Stanley was such a man. Blessed with grace he did God's work for years and soothed the misery of thousands of people when the need was the greatest.

I had heard from people who had lost a son or daughter to a traffic crash or accident. A common theme was the grace of the man who delivered the news accompanied by uniformed officers. The man was John Stanley.

When Aaron was killed the wheels of public service turned differently with a person other than John involved. Without compassionate and mercy, grief was wratcheted to horror by an employee doing a job by the book. Time demanded haste so rumors could be set in stone. No personal visit. An urgent phone call, time is running...we must not wait, your son is dead, what do you think? This is what we think. OK, let's talk about autopsy and of course organ donation.

Grief and horror are a potent concoction for furious anger when simmered. The following week John Stanley came into the picture. His calm and care filled manner set us at ease when he walked up to our house. We expressed our feelings, John listened and made an amends for his staff. No excuses. No blame. A heartfelt apology and a promise to do his part to put the rumors to rest and return a measure of dignity to our son. John was doing his job and God's work in our home. Patience, tolerance, and humility. I will always remember what John showed by being the man he was.

Rest in Peace, John Stanley. You carried God into the homes of broken people.