Five Years and Tears and Work

I feel home.

There are few things pure in this world anymore...when I'm with my friends I feel home...chillin outside with the people I know...

Five years ago a decision was made to wisk Aaron away by escort to a thousand miles away. He was 16. The decision process was horrible. The decision is what it is. Not good or bad. Without any preliminary work, Aaron was without home, without the people he knows, without his mother and brother. We decompressed. Aaron did the work. Patrick had tears and fears. Everyone was affected. Aaron did the work.

When the boys were boys I spoke to them about praying for wisdom. I was best at giving direction, poorest at showing by example. They said their prayers and God blessed them. Both are at their best in emotional situations. There are no classes in wisdom at D.A.H.S. but what would it matter, PT speaks fluent english and his grade indicates english is not his first language... may not be even his second. Patrick will do the work.

My work was unknown to me. Or, maybe I knew the work like PT knows english but I chose not to pick up the book? My issues were certainly uncontested until Aaron told me---I don't care where you go, but ya gotta do something. PT added his little hand push with---OK. See you. PT was playing video game, sitting on the couch. He didn't look my direction. Aaron stood firm. It was about an hour ago in the life of time.

The work never ends. Ya gotta do something isn't a one time thing. It's an all the time thing. The something is more than one thing. Time heals nothing. Time creeps up on you, and waits for no one. Old man time is creep. I wanted more time with my boys and at the end of January 05 it looked like our time was here. Three more months and a couple of weeks? That's not time, it's not time. What kind of time is that?

Almost 4 years of work on two things and now I hear what Aaron learned--it isn't one or two things, it's more things and more things need more work this time. Timeless work. I'm tired. Choices. So light I could vanish. Too much feeling.

I had a dream about you,...you saw everyone as an angel, what about the thief, took away from you...if you just kept walking on your way, if you just kept walking on your way...Beyond the archway...a thief...double fantasy...outside the Dakota...everyone has a devil...took away from you. If you just kept walking on your way. December afternoon...if you just kept walking on your way. Just walk on.

Much death. Much work. Much hidden...never walk this way again...not with a passon but a prayer...not what I do but what I be...take these away from me...Time is liar. Everyone has a devil. Just keep walking on your way. I choose solitude. Just keep walking on your way not alone...There is a place I need to be... seeing's not for me. Aaron's it's time to go. I'm not ready to leave. It's time to go. What if you had stayed for just that one more half a day? You wouldn't have took that call...you'd be far far away and we could see you still today. I see you in your music. We know why you loved the sound. A wonderful day is shattered and you've never heard the new songs. I miss you. I'm tired today I saw your sign AJ.