Dysfunction of Bucket Lists

I didn't see the movie Bucket List but I've heard the question. "What do you want to do before you die?" The answers are simple, regardless of the size of the desire or person. Aaron was asked the question as a youngster. His answers are on a piece of paper in his closet. Looks like the assingment required 15 to-do's. Aaron gave nine answers,... and five were marked as accomplished.

The paper looks like this:

Things I wanna do before I die

1. Get a bug (slug bug) (beetle)
2. Get a techniclick pencil from SHOPKO
3. Get to Guniess (Book of world records)
4. Get a new colored computer mac (see thru kind)
5. Get to be a pro football player
6. Face my fears
7. Travel out of the U.S.A
8. Get a DVD
9. Get a dog or cat when moving out
Numbers 10 through 15 are blank. He either had nothing else he wanted to do or tired of the exercise. Probably both.

Numbers 2, 3, 4, 6, and 8 are checked off as accomplished. I don't recall him obtaining a mac computer or getting to Guiness book of world records, but I'm glad he feels he faced his fears.

The question of what to do before we die is the product of a belief that life is filled by what we do. That belief is wrong. Aaron and Patrick taught me to look at life different. Doesn't it make sense that our children teach us to live healthier than what they observe? Of course. They don't care what we do or where we go, they want us to be. My sons taught me the question isn't: What do I want to do?, but rather: What do I want to be before I die? Regardless of what I do, what do I want to be? To me that means, what do I want to be as a Dad, as a husband, as a friend, a member of communities, etc...

For years I was busy doing and trying to do, what I wanted before I died. In that puruit I neglected being what I could be. When Aaron said, "I don't want to be like you." He wasn't being disrespectful---but that's what I thought. Before it was too late I got it. It's simply this: Happiness is a choice. Happiness can not be found, because it has never been lost. We always have happiness, yet at times we choose to be unhappy. The dysfunction then grows when not knowing we already possess happiness we go out looking for happiness. Our doing things, or attaining objects is how we try to acquire what we have not lost. Doing and attaining takes us away from being. Being what I am is enough.

I can not find what is not lost. I can not attain what is unattainable. I can not buy what is not for sale. I can bring joy to what I do by being who I am.