15

Bart Starr was my favorite Packer as a little kid. He wore number 15. I remember getting a set of used shoulder pads in the mid 60's, probably in a rummage sale. A gray sweatshirt became my jersey. I used a black marker to imprint 15 on the front and back. My dad gave me a helmet, red with white stripes. Numeral decals made for boat registration numbers (my Dad's store was the Sport Marine---more Marine than sport as far as I was concerned) were stuck on my helmet. Fifteen. That was going to be my number. It looked strong. Confident. 15. Good guys wear 15. Winners wear 15.
You can trust 15.

At Antigo High School in the 60's and 70's, the jersey numbers under 20 were few. In fact, they were three: 10, 11, and 12. When I was a junior 10 and 11 were taken. I became 12. It didn't matter to me then that there was no 15, I had a jersey and I was happy.

In his youth, Aaron's favorite football number was the number of his first favorite football player--himself, number 29. Two-Nine as he used to say. When Aaron was a Sophomore, he was one of a few in his class to suit up for every varsity football game. Being a first year player Aaron had probably had no choice in numbers. He was given jersey number 15. He looked good in 15. Aaron was glad to have a jersey. I was happy with the number.

Tonight, LSU is playing Ohio State for the College Football Championship. LSU wears uniforms identical to the uniforms of Aaron's high school. LSU's quarterback wears number 15. From the back, he looks like Aaron, bigger of course, but the same style 15 on the same jersey. I want to watch, but I can't watch. I see the jersey, the number, a player, and it's not my son. If I watch the player on TV it may confuse my fading memory. I'm losing the grasp of the memory I have of Aaron's distinctive running style. His ability to leap and climb air. His hands. I can't confuse the image with someone else.

15 is solid. 15 is safe. 15 is my Aaron.