Meaning to Take Action

Somewhere back in the early days of this Blog are references to Viktor Frankl's book Man's Search For Meaning. In a dark time Mr. Frankl gave me perspective. Outlined in red and highlighted in yellow, it was read more than once, on page 85 is this direction: We need to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to ghink of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life--daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and mdeitation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual. In six words: "What do I mean to life?"

Cathy and I were invited to attend a one year memorial celebration to the life of a young man we never met, but probably know. Dr. John Jung. A forever 28 year old UW Madison graduate who in his too short life acquired an MBA, became a Doctor, and gave the UW the All Campus Party. John was a young man of immense talent who valued sober fun and sewed the seeds of goodness from here to New York City. Those seeds are growing into something of gigantic goodness because of what John meant to life. In the same way that we feel Aaron making vibes in the world by continuing his idea in Aaron's House, John's family and friends feel his presence in the world by continuing their special bond. They are taking action to give what they know.

Cathy and Patrick are taking right actions to live above their circumstances. I see Patrick rising above himself, growing beyond himself at a young age, and turning a personal tragedy into a triumph. Patrick is surviving the unthinkable and developing a healthy compassion to go along with a hard earned insight into life. Cathy is able to be the Mother Patrick needs because she refused to be taken--in life and in spirit--from her surviving son. Friends gave her the safety to grieve and they were there when she was ready to laugh. She's modified her concept of what she means to life after having life violently obliterate what Cathy thought life was about. Cathy questioned herself. Doubted herself as a person and a mother. With the help of exceptional grief therapists and serious soul searching, Cathy is right where she should be. Confident in her ability, humble, and full of grace.

Depression, aggression, and addiction are due to feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness

That sentence was highlighted too. Because my memory is what it is, I should have tatooed those words on the palms of my hands. Then in moments of despair I'd see what I need to see. Maybe because I have lived it I will begin to learn it. When I demand life have the meaning I want, deep sadness and anger dominate me. I'm in the right place when I take action to give. God's work is always a better job than Tom's work.

The last few weeks I wore a suit of lead. It was heavy and restricted my movements. We had an amazing session with Bobbi and Mourad last Wednesday. These are two souls of angels. They are able to make the lead melt away. I'm wearing boxer shorts and plain white t-shirt three days after facing my anguish honestly with humility.

Facing a fate that cannot be changed, I will ask myself again: now that this has happened, what am I going to do about me? I'm going to continue to mean something about gratitude to life.

Final thought: I drove past the DeForest Youth Football field today during games. Glancing over my eyes immediately picked out a lanky fellow in a DeForest helmet and yellow jersey. His right leg was bent so his toes of his right foot were touching the ground and his heal was on his left shin. There would easily be 22 kids on that field and dozens more scattered about. The only number I saw was 29. Aaron's number, his height, and his way of standing. Probably an angel.