Friends from Home

Antigo, WI. Home of the Red Robins. Home for Cathy and me. Our Mothers still live there and they are doing well. We each have a sister and their families of young children. Aaron and Patrick are not from Antigo. They were born in Madison and DeForest is home for them. Not me. Antigo is my home. The city doesn't thrive the way it did in 1976 but it's still home. The economic boom of the 90's was not to Antigo what it was to Madison. While cities around the State were bursting with economic energy, Antigo had something more like a slow leak in a front bicycle tire. No boom.

It saddens me to see the downtown of empty stores and nick-nack shops. These stores were the life of the community. Except for Woolworths, JC Penney, Sears and Wards, the downtown was full of healthy family owned businesses. A kid (like me) walking and running down the street, going in and out of stores was always being watched by a person who had a stake in the community and who knew my parents. Safe and sound was how I felt and how the city of Antigo looked to a kid in the '60's and '70's.

I bragged about that city to Aaron and Patrick. Aaron and I visited "Con's" for the first time for a hot dog and root beer probably a dozen years ago. Jim Donahue, who knew MY Dad from high school was still running the place. Aaron loved Con's for what it was--A Boy Place! Pin Ball, Pool, Air Hockey, and now video games. If I ever saw a girl in Con's I can't remember. In high school, I thought it was a place I should avoid. Wrong. Con's was all about guy stuff and High School sports and nothing was bigger in Antigo than Football and Basketball from 1960-the mid '80's.

When Aaron was old enough to ride his bike from the Grandma's houses, he was off to downtown. With a friend one day they confronted some equal age Antigo boys. Aaron and his DeForest friend Chad were more than capable of trading barbs with anyone. They came back to Grandma Lucy's with quite a story and feeling ten feet tall. I often told Aaron that I wish I had been as confident as him in my day. Of course, he had the size to back himself up. I was a skinny kid with a mouth and fast legs.

Antigo is hanging on and somedays I feel like I'm doing the same. Three friends who go back as far as I can remember gave me a boost I will always remember. Dave Strobel I met in second grade. We mixed like oil and water at St. Johns grade school. Dave came from Appleton and took over my friends. As a punishment for fighting the nuns, in full black and white linen, had us write spelling words during recess once and after that we became friends. I have grown to appreciate his honesty.Paul Thiesen I met in seventh grade. Paul one of three boys in his family was always the guy to make you laugh. A big heart and losing hair since 1973, Paul is the same today when it comes to laughter. Dan Thorpe, the best man in my wedding and room mate through college. Dan and I met in seventh grade. He was the kind of kid who's athletic exploits were heard about before you met him. Through high school and college we shared athletics. Now we share the pain of having each lost a child.

The first night we had dinner and caught up a bit. The next day was a day of golf. Perfect weather. Perfect course. We played 18 holes for a dollar a point and in the end we were tied. There was a day not so long ago that a tie was not going to stand with me. I would either win or lose but never tie. If I lost I was not happy. If I won, well, I don't think winning made me all that much happier, but actually, I usually lost to Dan. On Saturday, a tie was perfectly fine for us. Just the way it should be.

As the weekend neared the end, the guys allowed me the time to share thoughts and feelings about Aaron and this past year. I don't know if anyone ever told them to "Mourn with those who Mourn" but St. Paul would be proud of them. Here's three 47-48 year old guys listening to Aaron's story; tears in their eyes and silent. The support I felt from them was what is written in Ecclesiastes 7:1-14 ..It is better to go to the house of mourning than to the house of feasting; for this is the end of all men, and the living will lay it to heart...Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of countenance the heart is made glad. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.


Those words are only words until you sit in the presence of people doing God's words. I was there and I'm better today for having friends from home.

Peace
Tom