"Festivus for the rest of us!"

A comforting book arrived last weekend courtesy of the organ donor, ahhh organization. (I forgot the name.) Great suggestions for living the holidays, for the first time, without our son and brother. We have received a number of books courtesy of the organ donor people and they are all helpful.

Of the dozen suggestions, I was particularly fond of the ones that made me acknowledge that every holiday was not exactly a Hallmark event, and it's OK to consider starting new traditions.

The same as every family, our Christmas traditions range from events of fun and jolly to those which trigger stress and exhaustion; physically and mentally. In Aaron's 17 Christmas' I believe we were in our home, opening presents around our tree maybe three Christmas days. When the choice was spend Christmas in our home with the four of us or enjoy several days with family in the northwoods, we chose the travel, friends and family away from home. As young boys they were a challenge to organize and motivate: "How will Santa know where to deliver our presents? (and, how do we hide Santa's presents in the car?) As bigger boys the challenges were...bigger: "My friends are all here. Why do I have to go? You and Mom can go, Patrick and I will stay here."

Of course, regardless of their age and objections, the boys always remarked on how good it was to be with family over Christmas or other holidays. I even recall Aaron saying on the last Christmas when we went home to Antigo, in 2002: "That was a good Christmas. I'm glad we went. Holidays are for family."

Holidays are for family. This Christmas season we will focus more on Christ, compassion to others, healing and sharing. Some of my past holiday traditions, which might more resemble Frank Castanza's "Feats of strength, and airing of grievances," will easily be put away forever. This year I will help select and decorate the tree. In recent years, I was more likely to go shopping for a Festivus pole.

It's made of aluminum. Very High Strength-to-weight ratio. Frank Castanza