God's gift to me is another day, more time. What I do with the gift is my thanks to God.
Life is not all fun and laughs. Refusing grief or dulling the jagged edge of grief will not make it disappear, and does nothing for real healing. Life is more than what we desire. God did not take Aaron. Aaron died because of a series of accidents and non-prudent decisions made by himself, myself, and other people...people who have a God too. God did not give me the pain; God did give me a human reaction we term grief. Failing to grieve completely is to not accept what God gives as a gift.
Three months passed yesterday. I can't measure the pain, but it may be just as, or more deep today. Understand that we are doing good healing work. We, Cathy, Patrick, me, are being open to God's mercy and we work closely to grow. A parent who's child is away for 12 weeks will miss their child. We have that same feeling. We miss Aaron. We want to talk to him. A parent who's child is going off to college in a couple of weeks, is aware of a date...Homecoming, Parent's weekend, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc... when they will be together again. We have a desire to know that reunion date and it's not in the plan and that adds despair to the mix of emotions.
There are many things I used to do for fun. None are appealing today as they would be intrusions to, and diversions from, the grief process. With sorrow in my heart, I choose to receive gracefully, the gift of God's mercy: Grief.
Respectfully with Peace,
Tom
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1 comment:
Tom, I've just returned from a week away with my 15 year young nephew. What an experience. I remember when I was his age, now more clearly.
I'm sorry you're still suffering 3 months later, although I didn't expect to read anything different on your blog. I ache for you and your family. I'm praying for your strength and healing. I just wanted you to know. I think of you and Cathy and Patrick every day.
Jan
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